i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
