Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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