It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
