We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
