Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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