dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
