Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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