she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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