She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
