Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
