the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
what day is it and did you see me today?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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