I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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