What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
