i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
