I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
