69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize