The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
