You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
