im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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