I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
