I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
