Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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