I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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