We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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