if only i could text you this smell
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize