She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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