If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize