Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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