I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize