i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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