i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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