I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
