I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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