What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
