I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
