Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
