she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
