My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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