yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
