Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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