he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
