I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
