The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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