I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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