my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
