meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dignity is for republicans.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Vodka?
Forever.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
