and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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