fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
