We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
