but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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