i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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