I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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