I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
