where am i from again
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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