Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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