In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
