New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
