dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
