she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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