So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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