I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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