I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
