Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
