youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
