My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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