brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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