Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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