You're a womanizer and a bitch.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
